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The Struggles After a Miscarriage

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During pregnancy, many mothers imagine the face of their future child and start planning the ways they will raise them. After your baby’s arrival in the world you implement those plans. You nourish your child, protect it from harm and encourage it to becoming a contributing member of the society.

But sometimes, life is not that perfect. It does not turn out the way you intended it to be, and you end up losing your child, before you even get to see it alive, healthy and breathing. As reported by American Pregnancy Association as much as 25% pregnancies end up in miscarriage, in USA.  This is perhaps the most traumatic experience any mother can face. Although the father is also understandably hurt by the loss, but somehow mothers are usually the more affected of the two.  It is because the mother has been the closest to the child than the father or any other human being could ever be. The baby has been fed through the mother’s spinal cord, the same food that the woman has been eating. There is no bond closer than that.

Mothers who have lost their children can have the tendency to develop Post traumatic Stress disorder (PTSD) or Post-Partum disorder (PPD). PTSD is usually attributed with people who have had their or some dear ones’ lives threatened. It can also happen when the person’s integrity or their physical body is exposed to a risk at any event. So it is understandable if a mother who has had a miscarriage is suffering through these conditions. The woman who has had this traumatic experience is in need of support and someone to bring back her courage.

A mother who has suffered through the spontaneous abortion of the fetus can have flashbacks of the horrific experience through dreams. It can also shatter her confidence of bearing another life in her womb. There is always a fear left in the heart of women such as these that they might have to go through these type of losses again. It is the job of the people who are close to her to assure her that everything is going to be alright. She must learn to be compassionate and self-loving and not feel guilty about what happened.

Therapists can guide a grieving woman to come over the loss in a better way. It’s a therapist’s job to acknowledge that and help comfort the affected person. Spouses or parents of the woman can support her in a group session therapy to help the mother from felling uneasy. Although the Affordable Care act does not cover the insurance for such therapeutic procedures, but therapy is a necessity rather than a luxury in your case. If you don’t have enough finance for a therapist, then have your family members come as often as possible so as to talk and share anything that can help lower the sufferer’s pain.

Any person suffering through depression may have a hard time keeping their appetite. It is vital to a person’s health that they eat correctly and supply their body with proper nutrition. In this case, the spouse should be the more responsible one and keep track of their partner’s eating habits. It is true that being busy might keep a person’s mind away from grievance, but human interaction is always needed. For this reason the spouse needs to take share of the responsibilities that were required from the woman.  When working together the mother would have someone to interact with and talk to when she needs to.  If she feels too depressed, it is better for the husband to take few days off from work and spend his time with her as much as possible.

A child’s death can leave any person in a shock and have a huge emotional impact. All the mothers who have gone through this experience must know that there will always be hope for them. They must take their time to grief, but should also be able to comprehend that their life doesn’t stop there. It is also important for them to realize that they need their family’s and friends’ support as much as possible. So isolation should never be considered as an option for anyone.

Sherley Alaba is an eagle-eyed wordsmith; a writer and translator, always interested in ways which can help individuals (especially youth and women) reach their full creative potential. Her focus has been on writing, producing and editing stories on business, finance, interesting personalities, entrepreneurs, culture, the environment, gastronomy, lifestyle, and social issues.

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